Oh no!!!!!! Not a FRIENDSHIP!!!@#!$!%!!??!!!

Can you imagine how HORRIBLE that would be, if children were allowed to develop close, unique friendships??!?#?$??
Really, is there anything more destructive than having someone you can depend on, someone special?
Adults in authority must do everything they can to discourage this!
How dreadfully children are warped by having a best friend....

“I think it is kids’ preference to pair up and have that one best friend. As adults — teachers and counselors — we try to encourage them not to do that,” said [the boneheaded] director of counseling at [a bonehead] Country Day School ....
In recent years [Bonehead] Lake Camp, a co-ed sleep-away camp [GOTCHA...]... has started employing “friendship coaches” to work with campers to help every child become friends with everyone else. If two children seem to be too focused on each other, the camp will make sure to put them on different sports teams, seat them at different ends of the dining table or, perhaps, have a counselor invite one of them to participate in an activity with another child whom they haven’t yet gotten to know.

“I don’t think it’s particularly healthy for a child to rely on one friend,” said [a boneheaded] camp’s director. “If something goes awry, it can be devastating. It also limits a child’s ability to explore other options in the world.”