Sing a Puppet Into Being

A modest proposal, I think Call To Action has discovered a solution to the priest shortage (the tune should be obvious.)

1. Take some flour, and some water,
Mix them well in to a paste,
Then recycle some old news print,
Tear it! let there be no waste.
Dip longs strips into the mixture,
Place them where they need to be
Bring a puppet into being,
Show your creativity.

2.How to use these gentle giants?
What their purpose? What their use?
Are they toys? a science project?
For the stage? Don't be obtuse!
We'll parade them to the altar,
Where they'll stand in proud array!
What priest shortage? we'll just build one
Out of more papier mache!

3. With his cold unblinking visage,
He might fill young ones with dread,
For it is the stuff of nightmares,
That bizarre, gynormous head.
But they'll soon become accustomed,
To his wierd and awkward ways,
Give it time and he'll seem normal,
They'll forget the olden days.

4. I begin to see the promise,
Of this way of building priests.
Mothers never need to give birth,
In the manner of dumb beasts,
Bear a child, just to offer
To the Church a pious son.
They can hire Julie Taymor,
And she'll go and build them one!

5. Much less messy, this will spare Moms
Childhood's ev'ry tear and pain,
Adolescents faults and foibles,
Yound adulthood's doubts and strains.
While we're at it, why stop at priests?
Lets make lectors, servers, too,
Deacons, singers... while we're at it
Why not puppets in each pew?

6. Brave New Church, that has such creatures,
In it! THIS is the new wave,
Soul-less dolls, or maybe robots?
Christ will have no need to save.
Sing a puppet into being,
We'll need people nevermore.
Just remind the final human:
Douse the light and close the door.