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Sunday, 8 November 2015

Young Yahoos at Yale: Hollow Wienies, or Wugwats Wooking Faw a Widdoo Home Away Fwom Home

The kiddies men and women of Yale did not have much fun with their trick or treating this year.
Was somebody faced with a shortage of the special orange and white chocolate Halloween Kit Kats?
Not exactly.
What happened was, one administrator sent out a missive to all the children suggesting that offensive masquerade costumes were.... well, you know - offensive.
Some children thought they were being treated like children.
Then another administrator sent one reminding the children that on their way to becoming grown ups, one of the ways we become big boys and girls is by being freed to make the kind of stupid decisions little boys and girls do.
Some of them then proceeded to lie down in the middle of the mall and kick and scream.
Others threatened to hold their breath until they tuned blue.
One or two peed themselves, I think, but that may not have been deliberate, or "transgressive," but just nervous shpilkes, from the thrill and the pressure of being allowed to try their hands at growing up, maybe even going out trick or treating without a baby sitter!
 (That may just have been too much...)
Crowds gathered, screaming and yelling at the Master of Slytherin and his wife, (she's something to do with the Ministry of Getting Us All Fitted Out In Big Kid Panties.)
Hundreds of the little ones surrounded them, told them what they ought to think and when offered the chance to dialogue or talk over sandwiches or something were told, "No, don' wanna," and sucked their thumbs to bolster their side of the reasoned discourse.
Fortunately, one little miss  was brave enough to speak, and explained to one of the nannies, in, er.... robust tones,
"Be quiet...It is your job to create a place of comfort and home for the students… Do you understand that? Why the f*** did you accept the position? Who the f*** hired you?... step down! If that is what you think about being a Master, then you should step down. It is not about creating an intellectual space! It is not! Do you understand that? It’s about creating a home here! You are not doing that. You’re going against that"
which, when you think about it is really pretty funny, since if most people used that kind of language when negotiating with the adults upon whom they depend, and whom they expect to warm their bottles and change their diapers "create a home" for them, they would, to use words the darling babes can understand, get the s*** beat out of their f****** a****.

Doncha think?

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