"The Clever Remark Does Not Help in Fostering Relationships"

The most recent newsletter from Colin Mawby's organization has some advice I need to take to heart before I again attach myself to a Church music program.

I was talking with a wise priest recently who told me that in the five parishes in which he had worked, music had always been a source of division. He went on to say that if a parish priest wanted to retain a peaceful parish, he must at all costs avoid trying to reform the parish choir.

It is a terrible indictment of church musicians and clergy that something which should be a source of unity and wonder is allowed to become a cause of bitter argument and division. This has absolutely nothing to do with the teaching of Christ to "love one another".

We have all observed rows with the clergy over music - I have close personal knowledge of them - but we musicians need to take a step backwards and analyse what causes these situations. There is often a misunderstanding of the roles of Pastor and musician. The former is in charge of the worship and the latter is the musical expert whose views should be respected and acted upon. In the end it all comes down to the maintenance of good personal relationships. These are built on trust and respect.

When Pastor and musician work well together the result can be superb; when they don't, the ordering of worship degenerates into a nasty power struggle. Trust can be easily lost by careless talk - the clever remark does not help in fostering relationships....

The preservation of a good relationship between Pastor and musician is a two-way thing and both need to be on the lookout for the simple misunderstanding that can lead to permanent breakdown.

Thank the Lord, I do have a very warm relationship with my former "boss" but there were rocky times, and I believe they were mostly my fault.

The fact that I was always absolutely correct does not alter that fact.