I ought to have a device that prevents me from accessing -- well, touching anything with moving parts, until I have sufficient caffeine in my system.
Most people who have assisted in the toilet training of a boy person... oh, I just realized, intorducing that topic into a post with that title is misleading, BE NOT AFRAID.
There was no accident of that nature in the kitchen....most people who have assisted in the toilet training of a boy person know that little ones, and John Belushi in Animal House are easily distracted, and have to be reminded to either stay facing in one direction or learn to turn their heads while keeping their bodies and male equipment immovable.
So the female, or at least kitchen equivalent of that is using a hand held mixer on batter, and thoughtless taking a few steps to retrieve another ingredient without either turning the mixer of or putting it down.
Because otherwise what happens is, um... well, it's obvious.
It's been my month for such accidents.
I DID turn off the mixer a few days ago, (my pastry chef houseguest has inspired me,) and set it down on end (as is proper,) on the counter while rummaging around for the cardomom, and it became unbalcanced, fell to the floor, landed on its switch, and turned itself on.
Kind of a Jackson Pollocky thing, ribbons of well beaten egg and sugar festooning the room....