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Monday, 27 April 2009

Larcenous Squirrels

I remember on one of our endless-seeming, cross-country treks back in the day, lighting on a gardening show on the radio, desperate for any non-Limbaugh, non-sex advice talk to keep us awake and engaged as it grew dark and we still had miles to go before we could afford the time to stop and get a motel.


Homeless and likely to remain so, (or at least house-less, Himself was figuring to stay nomads, but perhaps get an apartment or condo somewhere,) it never occurred that the information would actually be of interest. (I am lazy, and indoor person, anti-sunlight, and hate to get earth on my hands.)

But it was engaging it, and it did spur conversation, and actually stuck in my memory. It was a call in program, and a mna was seeking the hosts advice on placating his neighbors, who were accusing him of theft.

It seem that they had planted many tulips, and come spring, most of them had bloomed in his yard.

He blamed it on the squirrels, but the host/expert treated that excuse and the caller with amused contempt.

Well, I'm here to tell you the guy was on the money.

Because we do own a house, and I've discovered I do love seeing things grow, and feeling the satisfaction that comes with knowing one has effected that growth, and so though still lazy as a slug, against all natural inclinations, I planted tulips bulbs.

And not only have I had to chase squirrels from time to time out of the beds and pots where I had planted them, but now that they've raised their proud red heads, many of them, perhaps MOST of them, rather than in the beds where we could enjoy them most easily from our windows, are in the middle of the lawn, or next to the trash bins on the other side of our fence (though still on our property,) and at the foot of some lilacs we propagated, (another excellent effort for lazy gardeners, I highly recommend it.)

So it WAS those accursed squirrels.

Anyway, I hate those thievin' squirrels, (they also seem far too fond of orange peppers for my comfort. Grrrrrrr.)


Dad29 said...

Well, God is giving you a hint!

This is an excellent time to learn about the wonders of pellet guns (air-rifles.)

Usually, the .17cal slugs are sufficient, applied in the proper place at full speed.

Scelata said...

Hmmm... hy do I hear Ralphie's mother, shrieking, "You'll shoot your eye out!"?

(Save the Liturgy, Save the World)