Fifty Shades of Grease

Ya here for the interview? Okay. Whaddya wanna know?

My tastes is real... whaddya call it? singularish.

I got control in all things.

Okay, in somethings. 

Okay, actu'lly, I don't get much o' nothin' my way. 

That's why I want you to do things my way.

I don't do romance. (Like that's a suprise?)

I had a rough start in life.. Not like things are so smooth now. But you don't needa know nothin' else, so justfuggedaboutit.

Why are you trying to change me?

 I ain't. It’s you that’s changin' me.

Why is anyone the way they is? Why do some people like cheese and other people hate it? Hey, you like cheese? Whyncha get me some from... oh, wait, I think I got some on me....
(Some boy scout he must have been to learn how to start that fire....)

Oh. Wait. That ain't cheese, is it? Nah, that's mustard. Ummm, the good stuff!

 

( My subconscious purses her lips and mouths the word ‘ewwwwwwwwww!’)