Austin Ivereigh on "The Letter"

The arguments for allowing abortion under very limited circumstances are precisely the same as for allowing abortion under broad circumstances. Legalising abortion out of compassion for the mother’s pain — which is what motivates Professor Beattie — implies, at once, rendering the unborn life a lesser being. First the law strips it of rights, then it is able to be killed.
Once the law declares that the baby of a woman who has been raped, or a disabled baby, is not a life worth defending or saving, it crosses that threshold.If the law does not declare that life worth living under those circumstances, it cannot logically declare it worth living under other circumstances. A life is recognised as such in law, or it is not.Even without religion to teach us that every life, however conceived, is a reflection of the divine, legally and philosophically this has always been an either-or question.

Nails it.
But Eccles still has the best line.

Herod was pro-life, since he only killed people under 2 years of age.

Poor Sad Little Atheists.....

As Stuart says, when Sheldon complains that "more wrong" is an absurd phrase, as wrong is an absolute and therefore has no gradations.

No, it’s a little wrong to say a tomato is a vegetable, it’s very wrong to say it’s a suspension bridge

I heard someone say something like this: The believer may be like a child who thinks Saint Nicholas delivered presents, when they were really secretly placed under the tree by his parents - a little wrong; the atheist, like the child who thinks the gifts spontaneously generated, - is very wrong.
Our inability to comprehend, fully the nature of our Creator, is no refutation of His existence.

As almost always, Eccles is wittier than I could ever hope, in his kindly pity for the second sort of child and his irrationality.

1. And lo! Christmas was approaching once more, the season of peace on Earth to people of good will (and maybe some others, too)
2. But Richard was still in those days an unsaved person, and he spake forth, saying "Bah! Humbug!" Or sometimes (for a change) "Bah! Jellybaby!"  .....
3. And behold, he went on the attack with a brilliantly-crafted tweet, saying "There are people who believe Jesus turned water into wine. How do they hold down a job in the 21st century?"
4. For he reasoned that the butcher, the baker, the candlestick-maker, and the professor of biology could not do their jobs adequately if they believed in an omnipotent creator.
5. For would they not inevitably produce bad sausages, or bad bread, or bad candles, or bad lectures, if they were men of faith?

I will never understand the child who doesn't want to play with his comrades, no he does not! 

No I do not and don't ask me again, leave me alone, that's a stupid game anyway, I'm going to stand right here and keep telling you how stupid it is, oh, you're going over there, okay, I will too so I can keep telling you how much I don't want to play wi -- HEY, WAIT FOR ME, I CAN'T KEEP UP! okay, this is stupid, I don't want to play with -- hey, can you hear me? why aren't you paying attention to me?

Have You Incurred an Annulment latae sententiae?

Have I?
Am I living in sin?

Himself is by nature a worrier, so I am certainly not going to let any hint of my dread slip in front of him, but after reading the great British theologian and saved person, Eccles, I don't mind telling you, I am askeered.

"Be not askeered.... I go before you always"

Yeah, well I am.

As a special gesture to celebrate the Year of Mercy, Pope Francis has declared that all marriages contracted by Catholics are now null and void. Fed up with handling numerous claims for annulment, the Holy Father has in characteristic style cut all the red tape and granted freedom to all previously-married couples.  
As a special bargain offer, those couples who did not really want an annulment (believed to be a small minority) will be allowed to remarry free of charge.
Said one unhappy husband, Fred Cheese, "We've been together now for 40 years, and it don't seem a day too much. There ain't a lady livin' in the land as I'd swop for my dear old Dutch." However, his wife, Dutch Cheese, replied "Er, don't count your chickens, Fred. If we remarry you can start doing the cleaning, for a start." 

I can't be the only one who remembers the kerfuffle caused by that great German theologian and saved person, Cardinal Kasper passing on the opinions of his good buddy the Pope:

I’ve spoken to the pope himself about this, and he said he believes that 50 percent of marriages are not valid.[emphasis added]

And what about old annulments?
Himself had to have his first marriage putative marriage examined before we were wed, and he obtained a decree of nullity.

How can we know the annulment is valid?

The guys presiding over those are cut from the same cloth as the guys who have been presiding over the sacrament of matrimony aren't they?
So what's to say they didn't do the same sort of half-assed all-are-welcoming and pastoral job on them both?
In all seriousness, I have wondered, does a marriage which was sacramentally invalid because of lack of intention  in the ministers "become" valid when, growing in holiness and wisdom and knowledge those two ministers change their intentions?

Eye of the Tiber Author Unveiled

I knew I liked this guy.

I can't remember exactly which article caused the most controversy, but I know that the ones written about the Mass typically get the most heated. If I write an article titled, 'Report: Some 2nd Century Roman Christians Hated Latin Mass Because It Was Said In The Vernacular,' I know I'm gonna piss off liturgical traditionalists. If I write one titled, 'Clown At Circus Mass Reprimanded For Honking Sanctus Horn At Wrong Part Of Consecration,' I know it's gonna piss off whatever the complete opposite of a liturgical traditionalist is. I think they're called Protestants, actually.

And I'm glad he made a joke about hard liquor.
What can I say, the ideas that come to people when they're stotious are hee-larious. And when they try to put them into words pretending to still be sensible - well, that's gold.

I'm feeling a bit off about another of my guilty pleasures - Drunk History. The thing about it is, it doesn't have to be so obscenity-laden, the real humor comes from the anachronistic phraseology.

"So Alexander Hamilton calls his girlfriend, er, his wife...."

Yeah, that was your mistake, identifying the nature of the relationship between these people, barely out of the 16th century.

Some TV, For Instance, Is "Eroding My Inner Sea Wall"

Brilliant phrase from Quentin Letts:" 

There is a danger, when reporting trash, of elevating that trash, of normalising it and eroding our inner sea walls of revulsion."

And I don't even have the excuse that I must watch ion order to on the coarseness that passes for family entertainment.

Of Priests and Puns and Penetration

In one episode of Big Bang, "Shamey," in the course of conducting a social experiment that involves the two of them starting a rumor that their relationship has become intimate, have a conversation. that goes something like this-

Amy: The meme has reached full penetration.
Sheldon: Pun intended?
Amy: No. Happy accident.
Sheldon: Interesting! So it went beyond the mere fact  to a blow by blow account, as it were.
Amy: Pun intended?
Sheldon: I'm sorry, what pun?

Well, what do you think of this -

 The church should smell like the world that it penetrates.

 - from a priest breaking open the Holy Father's admonishment to “be shepherds with the smell of sheep”  - happy accident, or intentional?

I don't know much of Fr Rosica, I gather he's sort of the Mother Angelica of Canada, is he wont to be humorous?

When you get right down to it, what's the difference between pigeons and doves?

(And please don't tell me which one has more white meat....)
The Pope will release 3 pigeons from the steps of the presidential building in Herzagovina, fulfilling the fondest dreams of a Bosnian man.

On June 6, the Pope will answer the prayers of a humble Bosnian mail man and pigeon breeder.

From the steps of Bosnia's presidential building he will release three of Marin Cvitkovic's white pigeons into the Bosnian sky, in a gesture designed to spread his blessing over the troubled country and its three ethnic groups.

"Pigeons represent peace and love," Cvitkovic said. 

As for me and my house...
Himself cannot see a bird without channelling a character from The Producers, encounter a pigeon in the park or the calling card of a crow on the car, and he informs everyone within earshot, "I'm the conci-URGE. My husband used to be the conci-URGE....He's up on the roof with his boids. He keeps boids. Dirty… disgusting… filthy… lice-ridden boids.”
We're both well aware that his routine scrambles what the concierge actually says in the movie, accuracy is really not the point of shared shtick.

Shared Shtick is one of the great pillars of civilization.
My memory may be playing tricks, but I believe I broke up with someone once, primarily over who made better comedies, Mel Brooks or Woody Allen.

I ask you...

Old Post From New (To Me,) Blog -- About Rabbits, and Slippers, and Popes, Oh My!

I do not know if she is always this funny -- now that I think about it, have I misread? is this a h/t, ("an" h/t?) to someone else? - but Clare Short made me lough out loud.
Look at the pictures and just tell me you don't want to read the rest...

In an unprecedented interview yesterday Pope Francis reminded Catholics that they are not supposed to “breed like rabbits” and then went on to outline several newly acceptable forms of contraception.
When asked about birth control by Italian journalist Dolmio De Fungi, the Holy Father said “We should not be breeding like rabbits” and then unusually went onto clarify: “When I say ‘we’ I mean ‘you’, not me – I’m the Pope, and besides, we are both men!”
The Holy Father then went on to say “There are several types of Vatican approved contraception available to Catholics that are completely in line with Gods plan for Marriage and Family life: Dressing gown and slippers for example.”
When asked how reliable ‘dressing gown and slippers’ was in regards to limiting pregnancies within marriage, the Pope answered “Remarkably effective."

Whoever is Responsible For This Pitiful Showing, Heads Should Role!

Too on point, h/t to Fr Z

Catholic Church Fails to Behead A Single Person in 2014

 

For the most intolerant and extreme religion in the world, this is a rather embarrassing statistic.
It appears that the Catholic Church, widely recognized as the most uncompromising and dogmatic among the world’s major religions, is about to close out the year without executing a single person.
As everyone knows, the Catholic Church is a religion of strict doctrine, ruling every aspect of each individual Catholic’s life from the Vatican with an iron fist, while at the same time relentlessly imposing its beliefs on the rest of society.
Yet for some reason the Catholic Church has had an abysmal year at the chopping block, failing to kill a single one of its billion-plus members for failing to live in strict adherence to her teachings.  On top of that, the Vatican has put to death exactly zero people from other religions for refusing to convert to Catholicism.

 

Just like Cardinal George!

“I said what?”[he] asked those gathered. “There’s no way I just said that. OK, that’s just weird. Seriously, what the heck is it with me? Am I trying to change doctrine or something? How am I gonna explain this to my secular friends? Oh boy, I can see their faces now. I bet they’re just itching to ask when I’m gonna .....”

Thank you, Eye of the Tiber - we laugh because we care.....

Funniest Blog Post About Catholics EVER.

Seriously, I don't know this blogger, don't know where she stands on anything, (and considering the quality of thinking and breadth of knowledge exhibited in this howler about the activities of the USCCB Fall General Assembly, don't much care,) but I was grateful to have set down my cup of tea before reading:

Changes to the liturgy, a safe, non-threatening topic has taken center stage .

I Loved "1066 and All That"

My sixth grade teacher was a great anglophile, we in the class had Dickens read to us, listened to Gilbert and Sullivan, and perhaps most remarkably for American brats, learned to address adults as "ma'am" and "sir."
He read "1066" to us, and horrid zanies that we were, we laughed, (when we got the jokes. Come to think of it, we laughed when we didn't.)
Anyway, that is the only reason I had a clue what Eccles was writing about here:

1963 and all that (part 1)

With apologies to W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman.

Pope Paul VI, a blessed pope.

A blessed pope.
After summoning the 2nd Vatican Conflict in order to decide whether the Church should be modern or not, Good Pope John found that he was enjoying it so much that he dropped dead (and 51 years later he went to Heaven). The cardigans got together and picked on Cardigan Montini, who changed his name to Pope Paul VI and carried on the Vatican Conflict, after removing all the wounded. In the end, the Conflict ended with lots of new decisions, which were instantly blamed on the Holy Spirit, viz.:
1. All Catholics must stop talking Latin and learn a new language called Vernacular.
2. All priests who faced east must turn round and face west. However, the common people were not allowed to face west.
3. All altars were moved from the end of the church into the middle, so that the priests could hide behind them.
4. Kneeling was forbidden in church, as it was not considered cool.
5. The common people were no longer to obey orders given to them by priests.
6. The Age of Aquarius had dawned and a new Spirit of Vatican II was abroad.
7. Sex and drugs and rock and roll were still sins, but not as bad as they used to be. Indeed there was to be a new prophet of rock and roll, called St Cliff Richard.
After the 2nd Vatican Conflict, all Catholics were naturally very happy, and so they stopped going to church (see Rule 5).

Catholics being very happy.

Being and American, I have to admit, I don't always "get" Mr Eccles, the style of humor.
And of course, it's a bit inside baseball, I often don't know who the British pols and presenters and personalities are, about whom he spins drollery to such great affect.
But when I do  -- well, he's a treasure. A mean-spirited treasure, but a treasure.

Somedays, it takes me longer to read "Eye of the Tiber" than to read "The New York Times"

Eye's been knockin'em out of the park.

New Evidence Reveals The Mass Was Founded In 1965

ICEL Calls For All-Meme Missal Translation For Youth Masses

Homily Never Going To End, Sources Confirm

 

 

"Learning Fundamentals Of Catholic Doctrine"

From Eye of the Tiber, too funny:

VATICAN–It was announced today that a second synod, tentatively scheduled for mid-January, will solely focus on learning the fundamental teachings of the Catholic Church.
The news comes just days after Pope Francis asked synod participants to “speak clearly,” encouraging them to speak openly.  “Let no one say, ‘This can’t be said, they will think this or that about me.’ Everything we feel must be said, without fear,” Francis said. After reading the badly translated, and what many have called “severely flawed” report called Relatio Post Disceptationem, Francis has since regretted the decision to ask the synod fathers to speak openly, supposedly overestimating their intelligence.
An adviser to Pope Francis has since suggested that before moving on with another synod on the family, that the synod fathers learn some of the basics of Catholicism.
....
At press time, Pope Francis has issued a statement to those who will be participating in future synods, saying, “Let everyone say, ‘This can’t be said, they will think this or that about me.’ Everything we feel must be kept quiet, with fear, especially if you are going to make a Kaspar out of yourself.”

Can't remember where I heard it but someone said it was important for the Cardinal to remember that each of them was a "Prince of the Church," not "the Prince Harry of the Church."

Disappointment?

Okay, as before with The Toast, if you follow the link, yes, there is bad language involved.
But some of it hurts, it's so funny.

Maybe I have a low threshold of amusement?
But i needed a laugh, and Mallory Ortberg was there for me.
Thank you, Mallory, whoever you are.
It's called "Unsatisfied Women In Western Art History."

A few little sips of the tall, frosty, and somewhat bubbly beverage...


babe what is it
what’s wrong
nothing
are there not enough leopard skins
i mean
if you call just two enough 




and here is your royal chair
no furs on it i see
just linens and gold
that’s fine, that’s fine
is that a problem?
well you clearly didnt think it was a problem
so i guess it’s not a problem
is it


darling
why is this man talking to me
he doesn’t have any jewels on
i like his furs but he doesn’t have any jewels on
so why is he talking at me

Two Monks Invent Denominations

Not endorsing the entire site, and some of what I might link to uses foul language, but The Toast has some terrifically sharp wit, mostly by Mallory Ortberg.
(The imagined dialogue for classical masterpieces of the painter's art are also priceless.)

Church of England 
MONK #2: whats that one church there is already
MONK #1: what?
MONK #2: what’s the one church we all have
MONK #1: the Catholic Church?
MONK #2: yeah
MONK #1: what about it?
MONK #2: lets do the same thing but just of England
MONK #1: why would we do that
MONK #2: for making the king’s divorce
MONK #1: so the same except for there’s divorce?
MONK #2: yeah
MONK #1: so is it okay of all divorce
MONK #2: no, what?
no
just the one
don’t get carried away
just the one is fine

Jesuits, Jesuits, Everywhere, and Not a....

This thread at the Musica Sacra forum has devolved, partly through my own offices,  into a bit of Jesuit-bashing, through jokes at the expense of those good men, (I kid! I kid because I love....)
"A good liturgy by Jesuit standards is any where there are no serious injuries."

And in the strange synchronicity of life, my interest in matters Benedictine led me belatedly to this post.

So, H/T to The New Liturgical Movement for directing me toward a fantastic series of articles by the great Dom Mark Kirby at Vultus Christi, the best Blog-I-Forget-To-Read, (in my defense, since I always have an excuse, like New Liturgical Movement, it is a beautiful, often graphic-heavy site which my puny 'puter is wont to balk at loading.)

You understand, I knew nothing about the liturgical reputation of the Society of Jesus, I have, to my knowledge, only encountered them as teachers.

But a commentator at Dom Mark's blog says that he is a Jesuit, so naturally his liturgical formation is wanting, as if that were stipulated by all and sundry as a matter of course.

That is wonderful humility, (a dear friend who is CPPS speaks quite frankly about the liturgical lacuna in their society's current approach to formation where Liturgy is concerned, and I cannot think but that such honest self-examination is a good sign of better days ahead.)

Anyway, I knew nothing of a Benedictine/Jesuit controversy/conundrum, but it seems to me that all this is an explication of the thought that is behind my unconsciously profound statement of belief when I coined the phrase, "Save the Liturgy, Save the World.")

The Benedictine—Jesuit controversy over the place of the liturgy in the Christian life was ignited when, in 1913, Dom Festugière, a monk of Maredsous, published a lengthy article in La revue de Philosophie, in which he developed the teaching of Pope Saint Pius X in Tra le sollecitudini (22 November 1903): the liturgy is the primary and indispensable source of the authentic Christian spirit. Certain Jesuits, alerted to Dom Festugière’s article, took offense at its premise, and set out to counter it with their own arguments in favour of the Spiritual Exercises. Zealous sons of Saint Ignatius, among them the learned Father Navatel, director of the Jesuit review Études, argued, even in the face of Pope Pius X’s clear affirmation, that the liturgy need not be considered the primary and indispensable source of Christian piety, and that one could grow in holiness without engaging in the liturgical life of the Church save, of course, in the sacraments. Many Jesuits, as well as a multitude of religious congregations and pious sodalities under Jesuit direction, felt shaken by the new wave of emphasis on liturgy, fearing that it would gain popularity and, in the end, diminish the appeal of the Spiritual Exercises and of the various currents of piety derived from them.

By the way, I've never delved much into the frequent blogosphere argument about whether or not a layperson who is not bound to praying the Office engages in a liturgical actions or not when he does so alone, and maybe I should.
Himself joined in Compline and Lauds at the end of the Colloquium, and except for the fact that we had arrived at a totally Latin singing of those Hours by that point in the week, (against which his Protestant upbringing more than disinclines him,) found it both edifying and do-able.

Now THAT'S a Sense of Occasion

How do you mark your festivities?
I should remember this for my next birthday.

A quip by the late Fr Edward Holloway, founder of the Faith Movement, when he was celebrating his 50th: "I feel that on these occasions, rather than celebrating so wildly, one should make a good act of contrition."

Fr Finnegan's post from which I drew the charming quip was remembering his own ordination, and also featured this beautiful sentiment, accompanying a snap of his large family:

Missing from the photo but not from the liturgy (which includes the Church militant, the Church suffering and the Church triumphant) is my brother Gerry who died in 1979.

I know what he means, exactly. It is a great comfort, to be certain of that. I have sometimes, several times, had the most overpowering sense of the presence of my dear Father, after he had been gone for decades -- and always in Church, and usually in Mass.
There is no doubt in my mind, and as I say, it is a great comfort.

"Act of Contrition" remind me - at dinner once, while some tow-headed niece or nephew was preparing for a sacrament, there were maybe six of the dozen siblings, all of us but one having gone through the same "Faith Formation," in the same parish, and never with a break of more than two years from another. We knew, we had been taught -- SIX DIFFERENT VERSIONS of the Act of Contrition.

That's okay, I think we all learned differrent "versions" of everything the Church teaches.

The Splendor of Confusion....

The German Sense of Humor

Okay, from reading various reviews and articles about Rosenkavalier and Strauss, (honest, I'll stop soon,) I've come across a few mentions, some facetious and some not, about the Germanic approach to humor, and I was reminded of them by a pretty funny bit on Colbert with his fake German UN ambassador bringing his usual sweetness and optimism to all topics, in this case, the futility of a sporting competition, (on which, gee willickers, I'd have to agree with him .)

He reminded me of a monologist of whom I have not thought for years, and whom I loved, Brother Theodore.

Pre-Youtube, it would have been a passing thought, but  NOW -- well, I can re-watch all his Letterman appearances.
I think he was a genius;  and what a life, what a strange life -- who can say how much of his frenzied pessimism was an act, however funny it was?

But I never noticed before, (they were never
in my line of vision at the same time,)  he bore a certain resemblance to my favourite German.
(And this is NOT mockery, I truly love them both)

I know I watch too much TV, but I am going to be very sorry when The Neighbors is cancelled.


I pretend it's the meta fiction that enthralls me, the self-referential fourth-wall breaking,  but it's not. It's the sheer, snarky silliness.

The Bollywood number had me smiling so hard I thought my face would crack, and am often doubled over in pain from laughing et Dick Butkus, my favorite person of color, (pink...), et al.

Can nothing be done, ABC? Reggie Jackson suggested ABC Family?