Funereal black

A verrrrry interesting blog and thread at TNLM, that I will have to put some more thought into, where one post states pretty flatly that black is probably no longer an appropriate choice for funeral vestments in our country because "it communicates nothing of grief or loss."
True, in the US it is simply the shade of the urban uniform, that of, not only the sartorially lazy, but of the hip, the powerful, the fashion forward... but the poster, Liam, one of the most unfailingly gracious and rational commentators in all of blogdom, may be betraying an urbi-centrism.
He is, I gather from the Boston area, probably Boston itself.
I can assure him that there is an enormous portion of our citizenry that still consider black, however the catalogue writers' imaginations go into overdrive to sell us onyx, ebony, shadow, midnight, deepest dark, or anthracite garments, (yes, all designation I have seen in J Crew or Abercrombie, or whoever,) to be "BLACK," and a signifier of drabness and morbidity.
Just this weekend, a friend came back from London, which she told me she found "sad and depressing," LONDON ! -- because "everybody wears black all the time."
Okay, this is small-town in the midwest, but in one of the wealthier NY suburbs, a woman I know was in trouble with her own mother-in-law for, I kid you not, wearing white sneakers within the 6 months of mourning for a death in the family (and this, within spitting distance of the Short Hills Mall...) She even wore black sweats for workouts.
And the goth-kids' affectation is not for, say, pink, for a good reason.
As a tween, certain that I had a career in music or theater ahead of me, I began to wear nothing but black (and I am old enough, and lived in cheery enough suburbia that this should not be mistaken for goth leanings.)
So black spoke to me of either formality -the cantata chorister, or anonymity and invisibility -the techie or the pit musician. (I was more than slightly steamed when the distaff half of the high school madrigal group chose a pinky-red voile with monstrously large, abstract white flowers for our gowns. ) Although if anyone asked, I told them my affectation was in mourning for a divided Ireland.

Anyway, not that any one's asking, but I would like black vestments for my funeral, and violet if my first choice cannot be procured.