... and I want it NOW!

God grant me patience.

At rehearsal I nearly lost it several times...
But I didn't.
I repeated myself in a measured tone.
And repeated myself again without raising my voice.
And I left the bench to rearrange someone's music in that singer's notebook.
And I marked that person's music myself.
And I walked over to the section and pointed out the measure to which I referred.
And again I interrupted myself and stopped the choir because I realized a singer was turning pages madly, searching for the right page.

And then I went through the entire rigamarole on the next number.

And then I repeated the routine the next night with my church choir.

And never was heard a discouraging word.... (but I admit, I wondered, if only for a second, what is the fastest-acting, least painful poison?)

From this mornings Office of Readings:

Patience is a precept for salvation given us by our Lord our teacher: Whoever endures to the end will be saved. And again: If you persevere in my word, you will truly be my disciples; you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

Dear brethren, we must endure and persevere if we are to attain the truth and freedom we have been allowed to hope for; faith and hope are the very meaning of our being Christians, but if faith and hope are to bear their fruit, patience is necessary.

We do not seek glory now, in the present, but we look for future glory, as Saint Paul instructs us when he says: By hope we were saved. Now hope which is seen is not hope; how can a man hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it in patience. Patient waiting is necessary if we are to be perfected in what we have begun to be, and if we are to receive from God what we hope for and believe.

I am being patient.
More or less.
But for a while I don't want to be a director, I want to be in a choir, in a schola, in a chorus....