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Friday 17 July 2015

"And by everyone, I mean ME"

A sitcom a while back contained this dialogue, between a married couple, supporting characters, (I think I've pretty well approximated it):
Man: Oh, Kitty, no one cares.
Woman: By "no one" I suppose you mean YOU? Well let me tell you, Edward,  EVERYONE cares. And by "everyone" I mean ME.
(Like many television shows, this one was built around a charming, easy on the eyes performer,, an actor with minimal skills at, erm.... acting. But the rest of the cast, particularly the older character actors, were sharp, even, at least in the case of the woman in the exchange I have reproduced to the best of my recollection above, sublime.)
(And I want to be fair, the ingenue did eventually acquire skills, and timing to go with the quirk.)

I often remember this when someone speaks or writes in sweeping generalizaions, presuming to speak for his entire race, religion, sex, whatever.

This blogger has rather strong opinions on what ALL guys want in a woman, or find attractive; and what NO guys want.
And by "all guys" he means himself?

Such a lack of imagination. No "IMHO"s for this blogger, he simply cannot conceive of the fact that some men are aroused/charmed/attracted by women who do not so for him, that all men are not alike in their tastes and desires.

Sad, really.
I understand that the whole warrior babes genre is a sort of unspoken agreement between young men and feminists, in which men get to watch revealingly dressed pretty girls but must pretend to be impressed with them as warriors.  But for this show, the masks were off.  Just calling it “Sexiest sci fi girls” is admitting that we’re judging them as objects of lust.  Why bother reintroducing bits of the pretense?
Even obvious truths deserve to be stated.  Physical toughness is not attractive in women.  No guy was ever aroused at the thought of a girl who could beat the crap out of him.  Of the ladies on that show, only Xena Warrior Princess looked like she might be able to beat me up, and I was not remotely attracted to her.  She looked too manly, as would any woman who was really “strong” and “tough” in the way these guys claimed to like.  The rest of the girls were soft, slender, and curvy in the ways normal men like.  For example, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is supposed to be able to clobber preternatural demons, but the actress who plays her doesn’t look like she could overpower ordinary men.
Men are attracted to vulnerability and cuteness, not warrior toughness.  This is true for personality as well as looks.  To be sure, an attractively sensitive and feminine personality is compatible with great courage and sacrifice, but even in such cases its style is very different from manly toughness.

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