My Life as Sitcom

So, asked to do some voice-over work.
First actual work in, well, forever, it seems.
On my way to studio.
Stop for a quick cup o' joe.
Now suffering, (only very slightly,) from two ills, horrific and highly visible urticaria, and coffee-breath.
Have a remedy for each, diphenhydramine for the hives, spearmint gum for the halitosis.
I keep gum tablets in an old pill bottle, because I can't stand the way those foil packs fall apart in my purse.
The bottle happens to be an old one from the antihistimine I use.
I shake out one electric blue gelcap and one piece of gum into their respective bottle caps.

        

(You can see where this is going, can't you?)
So yeah, I pop the gum in my mouth, swallow it with a bit of water and chomp down on the medicine, contents of gelcap gushes out.
Worst taste I have ever had, EVER had, in my mouth.
No biggie, right?

Except it turns out that this liquid form of diphenhydramine numbs my tongue and gums and cheek, so I now can't feel one whole side of my mouth.
Kramer knows what I'm talking about.

Claire Dunphy know what I'm talking about.

 

Soldier on, head to studio and try to record copy in my altered state.
Hilarity ensues.
Honest, I wouldn't let me out without a keeper.....