"We're smarter than the devil!"

When ever himself and I enjoy some piece of trivial, (and yet STILL undeserved,) good luck, you know, finding a parking spot in the shade, getting the last jar of extra crunchy peanut butter at the store, we dance around like mad things chanting that....

I've lost track of how many conversations I began at Colloquium with, "Okay, I know I watch too much TV, but did you ever see...?"
Because, um... I do.

Anyway, that's how I felt yesterday evening,  I did my own private victory dance after I accomplished an Alchemikal Mirakle!
 Behold---

Mayonnaise!

It's AMAZING, you whip, and you whip, and you whip, and your arm wants to fall off from holding the measuring cup steady,  pouring the oil into the egg yolk as slowly as you can, drip.... drip... drip... drip.... one tiny bit at a time, like water torture, and then suddenly you see this magical thing happening!

I think the bad rep mayonnaise preparation has, the warnings about it in cook books, must date from the pre-electric mixer era.
And if I'd had a stand mixer, (or the sense to use a small plastic instead of a large glass cup,) I wouldn't even be complaining about my arm now.

And the Simpson reference?
Like so much else that comprises our own private mythos and compendium of shared shtick, it is misremembered, or perhaps the result of being misinformed at some point, (more about that later.)
I can almost hear Himself's older sister droning, "Thaaat's not the way it happened...."

We though that the story involved Homer Simpson's ability to consume and enjoy such a prodigious quantity of processed cheese-like food, with which the Devil intended to torture him, that the Evil One just gave up and let him have his soul.
Details.... we are too debonaire to be bothered by such insignificant expedients to telling a story the way we wish to,  as mere facts.

And the actual instrument of torture was donuts.

The Year of Magical Thinking

Or perhaps I should say, the " Year of Magical Religious Commentary".

 When Israeli President Shimon Peres and Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas meet at the Vatican next Sunday (June 8), it will be another sign of how Pope Francis has returned the Vatican to the global stage to a degree not seen since the 1980s....

“Francis is not resigned to a passive vision of world affairs,” Marco Impagliazzo, president of the Rome-based Community of Sant’Egidio, a Catholic organization active in conflict resolution and peace brokering, said last summer. “We must prepare for a new age of political audacity for the Holy See.” ...

[in the 1980s] the stakes were clear, as were the major players — and the way forward....

Dealing with [present] dynamics is a daunting prospect — and one for Francis that is complicated by the legacy of John Paul’s success in the Cold War. The end of Soviet communism was almost miraculous in its suddenness, and it left the impression that a charismatic pope could change (or at least shape) the course of human events.

So now we're all to be shocked that the First Pope To Have Smiled in Public didn't walk across the Mediterranean to bring rainbows and unicorns to all warring factions?
My word, that's as startling as to have learned that he's actually, when you get down to brass tacks, CATHOLIC in his beliefs.

It must be noted, it seems that many religion column writers, (many of whom seem to think their attitude toward their subject ought to parallel that of, say... crime writers toward theirs,) seem to have created a straw pope man in order to decorate him like a pinata before they knock him down.

But of course, the media are not a monolith, and it is possible that all those covering the Holy Father still believe and say about him exactly what they first chose to believe and say about him -- it's very difficult, once a particular reporter or outlet has chosen a narrative to write coherently, and honestly without at least tweaking that narrative, and who wants to do that?

Like crooked researchers, or law enforcement, or yeah, bloggers, if you've already determined what you want to claim to have learned before the new drug trials, before the forensics, before the interviews, before the investigation, well.....

(I suppose I could have included, "before the papacy.")

Time to Put Our Money Where We Say Our Soul Is?

There is a canard spread by the Culture of Death that individuals and religious organizations who claim to be pro-Life only care about kids before they are born.
 
Is there is a connection between those among us who are against abortion and those among us who are seemingly against providing humanitarian aid to illegal minor migrants before we try to find a solution to their presence in our country?

VASSAR, MI — More than 50 people from across Michigan turned out to protest the possibility that a Vassar facility could house Central American children and teens who have fled into the country.
The group, led by Michiganders for Immigration Control and Enforcement organizer Tamyra Murray, marched a little more than a mile, from Vassar City Hall to Wolverine Human Services' Pioneer Work and Learn Center.
Some carried AR-15 rifles and handguns, while others carried Gadsden “Don’t Tread on Me” flags, American flags and Rochester resident Jeff McQueen’s “second American revolution” flags, designed from Betsy Ross’ flag with a Roman Numeral II in the middle.
“We’re not against kids,” Murray said, speaking to media before the march started. “We have sympathy for the kids being used and exploited by the feds.”

Earlier this month, screaming protesters waving American flags in Murietta, California, turned back buses transporting undocumented youngsters to a detainee facility.

This is more like it.

California: In sharp contrast to the reception similar children received in Murrieta, Central American immigrant children have been welcomed by the community of Fontana. Just over 40 immigrants on Homeland Security buses arrived at the St. Joseph's Catholic Church there on Thursday and were greeted by staff and community donations of food, clothing and toys, according to CNN affiliate KTLA.

UPDATE, (or correction, or backpedaling, or what have you):
I am not advocating for open borders.
This is not political.
All I'm saying is that this:
 


 is not showing the face of Christ to our brothers and sisters.

I'd forgotten that it's not just on Sundays that Catholic think they "own" their seats.

Our church is being painted so for weekday mornings, Mass is in a smaller chapel. The past few days there have been several young mothers with several young children a piece, perhpas some kind of  usual daycare they shared has come to an end?
In any case -- they are attentive and quiet, and I turned to a gentleman whom I know, (although not by name,) and smiled, "A lot of children!"

Yes, he hissed, and yesterday some of OUR people had to stand...

"Our people"?

We're Catholics, I thought ALL of us are "our people."

Please, Lord, I'm already crankier than I ned to be, I can see myself doing it as I get older, don't let me turn into one of them!

(I will NOT complain about the blue paint they've chosen....)

The Ephemerists

Can't remember where I picked up the term, some blog probably, but the Ephemerists are the purveyors of the never-meant-to-last "sacred" music that is the plague o Catholic publishing and Catholic liturgical praxis.

Sophie Caldecott has a most interesting piece originally run in Pylot, about clothing and the damage we are doing to ourselves, to so many aspects of society, with the cult of the new.

This mind-set, the insatiable craving for the trendy, no matter how shabby, has been a curse on the Liturgy for most of my lifetime.

Throw-away clothes, throw-away missals... and who can deny that society as a whole has embraced the concept, (no I cannot use that word here,) idea of throw-away people?

In praise of Bill Riccio

William Riccio, lector, organist and master of Ceremonies Extraordinaire, has a post at New Liturgical Movement.

Not quite sure how to say this without it coming out wrong, but his decorum as MC is as near perfect as it is because it is not TOO reverent.
See? I knew I would say it wrong.
It IS reverent, but it is devoid of the showy, airy-fairy reverence that some mistakenly bring to their office in the sanctuary.

It is, if you will, an efficient solemnity, the solemnity of a man with a job to do, more concerned with doing what needs to be done while drawing as little attention to himself as possible except when necessary, such as in the impressively  no-nonsense minimalism of his visual instructions as to posture, given to us as a congregation in the EF liturgies, (where I am more than a little at sea, and wasn't crazy about how far forward in the nave Jonathan Ryan's schola sat, since I like to have as many pews loaded with people who already know what they are doing in front of me as possible,) rather than making sure his face has that "Don't I look holy?" wide-eyed half smiling expression that the worst 5th grade brat in a choir always has when you almost catch him doing whatever it was he was doing.

You know the look, there's probably a Church Lady, (of either sex,) at you parish who wears it when she's not making Father's and your life miserable.

Well, didn't THAT turn into an uncharitable rant?

Anyway, I really like Mr Riccio's manner, he certainly doesn't speed through things, but neither is there an inauthentic reverence that depends on mere slowness -- rightly, as one might as well attempt to achieve solemnity by, oh, I don't know -- turning the organist's pages slowly.

In his posts he notes something I thought I had perceived as well, the youthening of our clerical attendees, (a very good thing!)

And he expresses something I have never been able to get across to non-musicians whom I have urged to attend, the profound spirituality of the event, the retreat aspect of the entire week.

Because the CMAA is not, when all is said, about music at all.

All the musical preparation, the musical focus, the musical skill, the musical education -- it is all in the service of the real focus of the Colloquium, which is the Source and Summit of our Faith, our Eucharistic worship of the Living God.

And thank you, Mr Riccio for helping us do that.

Culinary Firsts.... for _ME_

I have, somehow, acquired an undeserved reputation as a good cook.
I maintain it by entertaining seldom, and cooking for genuinely good cooks and bakers never.

Yesterday, for the first time in my life.... I used the broiler. Seriously, the first time ever.

The ribeye, with garlic and ginger was excellent. (There's a store near here where I can actually afford a ribeye from time to time. It's called Sav-a-lot, and I don't know why it isn't teaming with shoppers canstanly, especially as the price of staples is soaring .)

Anyway, today... I am going to make mayonnaise!

Haven't been able to find a commercial one that doesn't contain corn or distilled vinegar made from corn, and if I did, the cost would probably be prohibitive, and allergy or not, tuna salad without mayonnaise is tragic.

Wish me luck

Of Frugality and Acts of God and Acts of Greed

For those in need of stores for possible or probable power outages, whether from acts of God, (hurricanes,) or acts of greed, (overloading the grid,) a store called "Dollar Tree," (one of the actual dollar stores, everthing there's a buck,) has quart boxes of milk that according to those on whom I taste tested it, are as good as that sort of thing can be.

The brands I have set aside in the larder in the past as storm prep run two to three times that in the regular supermarket.

(didn't see any boxed 1/2 & 1/2)

It is supposed to be a light storm season in this area, and we never but never lose power in ordinary storms, but so many areas in the rest of the country are having freakish and devastating weather events, you never know...

Speaking of Cheeseburgers

Wendy's "Jr Steakhouse Cheeseburger" for $1.49 is about as tasty as "value menu items" get.

I am not picking on him...

... honest.
I'll drop the subject after this.
Fr Joncas is very learned and seems like a nice guy. Melo, IIRC, tells me he is, (although he also said something about appearances and attractions which I don't see, so there ya have it.)

But this beautifully pitched criticism ...

I am stumped by musical practice that doesn’t seem to prize unison tune-singing so much as providing a melodic formula at which the assembly can throw its voices without worrying about exact pitches or rhythms.

... coming from the pen keyboard of the person who set the words "You who dwell..." and then, "The snare of the fowler..." as he chose to, would almost seem like deliberate irony, (yeah, so, "not authentic.")

I positively REFUSE to Feel Guilty Over My Cheeseburger Habit....

... regardless of what Mark Bittman has to say about my drug of choice.

 Besides, :

Yes, it costs money to treat the diseases that come from having rolls of fat dripping off one’s frame. But we all have medical expenditures in every year of our life and we all also end up dying of something (limited exceptions such as Enoch and Ezekiel won’t change the population numbers very much). The net effect of that is that if we die younger (as the obese tend to do) then this will be a savings in health care costs over the lifetime.

That's reassuring, because although, as I said, I'm no economist, something about Bittman's line of through seemed hinckey to me.

So, it boils down to the fact that I am actually being a better steward of the gift of creation and your tax dollars, (and less wasteful of the resources at mankind's disposal,) by indulging in Arteriosclerosis on a Pretzel Bun.

Oh, and if you're ever in Indy, try Punchburgers.

Burnt Cheese Burger?
Yes, please.

Making the Light Shine Brighter

The Dominicans of Summit New Jersey need your help -- not, in the way of many communities because things are not going well, or they are dying off -- it is because they are THRIVING.

(If they were to start making Apple Butter again, as the did when I was a child, my purchases alone would probably cover their entire capital campaign...;oD)

(Seriously, you've never tasted anything like it.)

If you have the slightest scintilla of interest in sacred music you should own the Summit Choirbook, although it is now, sadly, sold out.
Will there be a reprint, I wonder?

Meanwhile, enroll yourself and loved ones in their Perpetual Rosary Association

Interesting side note, many years their prioress is Sr Mary Martin.


(No, not that one, but I couldn't resist.)

Fr Joncas on "Jesus is My Boyfriend" Songs

He's ag'in'em.
BUT, and to quote Pee-wee, "it's a big but,"

But I had to question my desire to wall off this music from liturgical settings when I acknowledged that I was quite willing to be emotionally overcome at communal prayer by the spiritual intimacy and emotional rapture of African-American pieces grafted onto the Roman Rite.

Interesting read.

I know what he means, trying to discern if there's a principle one will only apply selectively.
It's a real hazard in the environment of religious music, and (sub-set,)  Sacred Music and, (still smaller subset) Liturgical Music, since we're all subject to our won prejudices.

Used to have arguments with our DRE,

in which she would hiss, "That's just you opinion!" however much I assured her that if putting the kibosh on, say, a Polka Mass were a mere matter of personal preferences, I would have then plumped for  a Jig Mass, or  better yet, a Tango Mass, or best of all, a Waltz Mass! (Couldn't Beautiful Blue Danube be adapted for the Asperges? I digress.)

Pietist movements is that they appear in Christian history whenever religion seems to be divorced from experience. Thus among German Lutherans in the 17th C, the movement emphasized personal faith against the perceived stress on doctrinal and theological issues to the neglect of developing a Christian way of life.

I thank him for the "seems" and the "perceived." I have known of people condemning the more traditionally minded in a parish, who "just want Latin and their Expositions and Benediction," instead of worrying about "Social Justice," referring to them as"the pro-Life adoration crowd," ignoring the fact that these people were also the "Soup Kitchen, St Vincent de Paul Society crowd."
(Not to mention the fact that there is no "social injustice" greater than the deliberate private execution of an unborn, innocent life.)

Arlene Oost Zinner

Incidentally, it detracts nothing from the gratitude I feel toward those Three Graces, that the person I missed most at the Colloquium, (despite fierce competition from Mons. Wadsworth, and a lovely religious sister whose name I can never recall, and Dom Mark Kirby -- hmmm, notice a pattern here?) (okay, also Kathy Pluth, breaking pattern...) the person who I kept finding myself wishing were there, was Arlene Oost Zinner.

What a debt, not just the CMAA, not just musicians, but all of anglophone Christendom, owes her!

LaShanah Haba’ah Bi Pittsburgh?

A Belated Thank You the the Three Graces for the CMAA Colloquium

Speaking of James Joyce, during the closing brunch in Indy, kept thinking of Gabriel's toast to the Morkin sisters in The Dead, and of how I wished to make such a toast to Mary, Janet and Mary Jane -- and then finally, of how the way in which my toast would most resemble his was in it's nervous ineptness, and pretentiousness

But in the safety of my own blog, I'll be as pretentious and inept as I please!
So with apologies to Joyce...

Ladies and Gentlemen.
—It has fallen to my lot tonight I'm going to seize the opportunity this morning to perform a very pleasing task but a task for which I am afraid my poor powers as a speaker are all too inadequate.
But, however that may be, I can only ask you today to take the will for the deed and to lend me your attention for a few moments while I endeavour to express to you in words what my feelings are on this occasion.
Ladies and Gentlemen. It is not the first time that we have gathered together under this hospitable roof, at such a repast, around this hospitable board. It is not the first time that we have been the recipients—or perhaps, I had better say, the victims—of the hospitality hard work of certain good ladies.
—I feel more strongly with every recurring year that our country the CMAA has no tradition which does it so much honour and which it should guard so jealously as that of its hospitality. 
—A new generation is growing up in our midst, a generation actuated by new ideas and new principles. It is serious and enthusiastic for these new ideas and its enthusiasm, even when it is misdirected, is, I believe, in the main sincere. But we are living in a sceptical and, if I may use the phrase, a thought- tormented age: and sometimes I fear that this new generation, educated or hypereducated as it is, will lack those qualities of humanity, of hospitality, of kindly humour which belonged to an older day. Listening to-night to the names of all those great singers Praying at the Requiem for CMAA members of the past...  let us hope, at least, that in gatherings such as this we shall still speak of them with pride and affection, still cherish in our hearts the memory of those dead and gone great ones whose fame the world we will not willingly let die.
There are always, in gatherings such as this, sadder thoughts that will recur to our minds: thoughts of the past, of youth, of changes, of absent faces that we miss here tonight. Our path through life is strewn with many such sad memories: and were we to brood upon them always we could not find the heart to go on bravely with our work among the living. 
—Therefore, I will not linger on the past. I will not let any gloomy moralising intrude upon us here to-night today. Here we are gathered together for a brief moment from the bustle and rush of our everyday routine. We are met here as friends, in the spirit of good-fellowship, as colleagues, also to a certain extent, in the true spirit of camaraderie, and as the guests of—what shall I call them?—the Three Graces of the Dublin musical world CMAA.
—I will not attempt to play to-night the part that Paris played on another occasion. I will not attempt to choose between them. The task would be an invidious one and one beyond my poor powers. For when I view them in turn, whether it be our chief hostess herself, whose good heart, Janet Gorbitz whose too good heart, has become a byword with all who know her, or her sister, Mary Webster who seems to be gifted with perennial youth and whose singing must have been a surprise and a revelation to us all to-night at Mass, or, last but not least, when I consider our youngest hostess, talented, cheerful, hard-working and the best of nieces, Mary Jane Ballou I confess, Ladies and Gentlemen, that I do not know to which of them I should award the prize.
—Let us toast them all three together. Let us drink to their health, wealth, long life, happiness and prosperity and may they long continue to hold the proud and self-won position which they hold in their profession and the position of honour and affection which they hold in our hearts.

Incidentally,if you have seen neither the movie staring, IIRC Donal McCann, nor the very moving musical of The Dead, I urge you to take any opportunity to do so.
In Chicago I saw an actress named Paula Scrofano play Greta, and it was an astoundingly centered, to use a much over-used word, performance.

Three Things I Like About the Church

Everyone complains about junk eMail, but I, at least, will admit it's almost all my own fault.
Did I need to register for that site? 
Of course I do, how dare I deprive the community of Greater Posting-on-the-webs of my astounding insights on the subject at hand?
Well, why haven't I at least gotten off my duff and set up a free eMail account to absorb the junk that I know perfectly well such registration will inevitably produce.
But their might be coupons! 
Search for them if and when you need them!
Well, how can I know I need them if i don't know they exist?
Besides, there might be something I have to know about!
Or I might miss a funny baby video!

Yeah, that's how my mind works.

Anyway, I don't remember ever receiving anything newsletterish from a particular Catholic website before, but "Name 3 Things You Like About the Church" was a topic heading in one such missive, (along with, "Is helping kids with homework a sin?" Really? I digress.)

Well, after. 1. The Presence of the Second Person of the Triune God in the Eucharist Freely and GRACIOUSLY Given to Me a Miserable Sinner ... whew, that's a biggie, do I need anything else? I mean, what's not to like?

So yeah, that's enough, but 2 other things about Catholicism that really float my boat?

2. Here Comes Everybody! (thank you, James Joyce)
The universality of the constituency to whom all this is on offer, and the utter destruction of the perceived barriers of not just space but time is awe-inspiring and delightful and reassuring to me.

and
3. We're All in This Together
The Economy of Salvation is the greatest re-distribution of wealth of which the human mind can conceive, isn't it?
And unlike in, say, a ponzi scheme, there is no loser, no ones capital is ever depleted, by one person getting more no one thereby has less! And I can not just ask for intercessory prayers from him who is my neighbor by accidents of time and place, but of all the inhabitants of Heaven, and all the "inhabitants" of Purgatory,  even those of whom I am unaware, (thank you, Communion of Saints!) - and Graces received can be, and are "applied" to anyone who is needful, either in the Ecclesia Expectans or Ecclesia Militans.

Is that great or what?

Yeah, it's great....

"What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness"

Remember  I said a beast of a preacher asked, what were each and every one of us, what were WE going to do with the rest of the day to get closer to God?

H/T to Fr Z for this,which asks the same question in a secular, (or at least potentially secular, since unless he notes it, Fr Z. seldom if ever links without opprobrium, or at least a caveat, to anyone who doesn't completely share his religious, cultural, gender and especially politically conservative agenda,) context:

What Good Shall I Do This Day?

[A successful suicide's note] read:

“I’m going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump.”

... Society has any number of pressing needs that are crying out to be tackled. But there’s a need that everyone can start addressing immediately — no experience or Kickstarter campaign required: regularly showing more human kindness

I know, I know. Talking about kindness can seem cheesy. It isn’t cool. Doesn’t have much currency in our cynical age. Kindness doesn’t scream “manly” either. But I truly believe that helping our brothers and sisters along the way is what this life’s journey is all about, for men and women alike. At the same time, this service is the surest path to finding our own happiness....

The writer George Saunders ... recalled some of the bigger mistakes and mishaps of his life, and notes that despite their negative consequences, he regrets none of them.

Instead, it is a small moment from his youth, a foible of omission rather than commission, that still niggles at him [a school days' memory of failing to stick up for a bullied outsider]

"It bothers me. So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it:

What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.

Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded . . . sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.”

I suspect we all have such memories.
And we do know what to do with them.
Maybe the kindness I can do today can help atone for a failure from the past. And that can help bring me one step closer to Him Who is all loving-kindness.

Is an ectopic pregnancy a pregnancy?

In order to maintain that certain contraceptive methods are never abortifacient, it is necessary to redefine pregnancy as something apart from conception and fertilization. Federal medical definitions in this country state that pregnancy begins only with implantation, but since birth control doesn't inhibit implantation, only ovulation or fertilization, QED, birth control never ends a pregnancy. The medical establishment in the UK doesn't think it so cut and dry.
I haven't seen the Federal definition in any official document, but numerous pro-abortion editorials say that the definition is, specifically, implantation in the endometrium.

So an ectopic pregnancy isn't pregnancy?

Oh, and how about this bit of reasoning, from a "Catholic" source:

Now, just because an egg is fertilized doesn't necessarily mean that it will develop into an embryo. For that to happen, the fertilized egg must be implanted into the endometrium that lines the uterus. Implantation happens seven days after fertilization, if it happens at all. ... 

For this reason, according to the medical definition, a woman is not considered pregnant until the developing embryo successfully implants the lining of the uterus.[emphasis added]

Pardon, NCR, but according to you an embryo can't implant, successfully or otherwise, because there's no such thing as an embryo until the  implantation occurs.

"It is not open to people to deny the validity of the decision"

 The Church of England has given the go-ahead to women "bishops," and PIPs saying they are wrong to have done so is not acceptable, according to Justin Welby, the Abp. of Canterbury.
Or rather, he says they are wrong to disagree now.
Presumably they could have been right to agree before.
It is a vote that determines the validity of  a truth promulgated by the Body of Christ, its truthiness.
Majority rule, doncha know.

But truly, I had no idea the Church of England was so doctrinaire, "not open" to dissent?
It's as if their leader is saying that they had, I dunno, some kind of unchanging theology, or something.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, (quite rightly, I suspect,) said that some aspects of their decision was or would be or had been or might have been "incomprehensible", but different medium  organization spin the quote differently, so absent an actual, in context quotation, you know, with actual subject and contiguous, or at least nearby, predicate contained in the same set of quotation marks, not absolutely positive I agree with him.
What's the mood of the verb, the tense? indicative, subjunctive, perfect, historical present, future?

Every new outlet seems to have picked up the same adjective, while disagreeing on every other word in the thought the man expressed.

But yes, if women priest, why in the world not women bishops? If there's no ontological reason to keep 'em out of holy orders, it just looks like sulky male privilege.

Some of the rest of what is said is a bit more dubious.

"Theologically, the church has been wrong...."

Then it wasn't THE church, was it?

"We got caught up in the culture over the centuries, as churches do."

Oh.
ChurchES.
 Plural.
One of several.

Then again, clearly not THE Church, right?

God help them all.

"Sanctity emerges from the MESS of humanity"

Visiting priests for a few weeks, and an absolutely top-notch preacher this morning, wonderful on the subject that saintliness is not a personality type, or limited in it's availability to each and every one of us -- and what were each and every one of us, what were WE going to do with the rest of the day to get closer to God?