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Monday, 14 July 2008

Most Dispiriting

I "took a meeting" today at work.
It was very pleasant, very cordial, almost fun at time, (and I HATE meetings,) --- and also left me utterly deflated and bereft of any genuine hope for the direction we are to take.
I can make no significant changes, (I didn't even bother to ask about a new ordinary or making any accommodations available to people who legitimately asked for EF funerals,) I proabably can make no small changes, I can do nothing, any tiny improvements I think I have made ought to be rolled back.
I am of two minds. (I am not quitting.)
Should I stop beating my head against a wall, and just punch the clock for a few years while I tread water, and get things in shape to sell; or should I keep trying to push the envelope?
The odd thing is, I could probably DO almost anything I wanted to, at least once, and get away with it, as a constant thorn in his side.
But the fact that I know I could, (that I would be too hard to replace,) is what would keeps me from doing that to him.


Mary Jane said...

I know that they make 'em tough where you come from, but this is the classic Hobson's choice. And one that seems distressingly common. You're in my prayers.

Scelata said...

Thanks, Mary Jane.
One problem is that I like him, I really, really like him.
We get along great, he's a holy man, a kind "boss" - we just disagree fundamentally on so many aspects of liturgy, basic aspects, IMO.
There were things that I thought I was doing gradually, under the radar so to speak, but apparently he'd noticed and we just hadn't had time for a sit-down.
Ah well... oddly, as of this year it would not be a complete financial catastrophe for me and Himself if I quit, and that makes it even harder for me.
If I could deal when I needed the money, it seems beyond churlish and mercenary not to deal with it now, to say somehow it violates my principles now that I can afford to have principles :oP
(Save the Liturgy, Save the World)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, in one year at my current job (and it's just a job now, I have to pray on my own time,) I ben told Benoit elevations, and Callahan voluntaries on Gregorian themes, some simple Guilmant things, (in a HAPPY key! in a Major Mode!) were "depressing," hymns are too "solemn" and "sober," instead of putting everyone in a "good mood," we need to sing more "upbeat" ones,
everything should be faster , (we're doing Tantum Ergo to ST THOMAS at about 130 BPM now, to give you an idea how "slow" I am) the cathedral choir doesn't do any Latin, no chant ordinaries, so how can it be necessary or even desirable?

I surprised everyone who works for the church doesn't drink.

We ought to shake the dust from our crocs and go Orthodox.

Mary Jane said...

See my suggestion over at Sacred Miscellany - http://sacredmiscellany.typepad.com/sacredmiscellany/

And what is it with the "upbeat" thing? Good Friday appears to be the only time on which the music is not to be in a major key, up tempo, and with positive, self-affirming lyrics.