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Wednesday, 14 October 2015

In Bid For Respectablility, Hitmen Will No Longer Accept Payment

TheCapo di Tutti Capi of Murder Inc., Cecile "Babycakes" Richards announced that the outfit will not charge for pulling hits from now on.
"It was never about the money," she is quoted as saying. "We provided a service out of sheer good-heartedness and civic mindedness."

"We will not take money for .... our product anymore," said the consigliere of Murder,Inc., Roger "Greasy Thumbs" Evans, who hastened to add, "not that we ever did take money for it."
"Because we weren't doing anything. And the stool pigeon that fingered this legitimate business is a known liar, of whom I've never heard."
Josh "Li'l Ernie" Ernest interjected, "the films supposedly incriminating these model citizens and political donors? I don't believe a word of them."
"Or at least, I wouldn't believe them  if I actually saw them. Which I didn't. 'Cause it really has nothing to do with me. I'm just here to show support. To these people about whom I know nothing. Hey, how 'bout them Cubs..... Next question?""

Deb "the Knife" Nucatola and "Mad Hatter" Gatter had no comment.

And Emmett ?
His silence spoke volumes.
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