Okay, I'm just going to say this once.
A fried egg on a cheeseburger is against the laws of God, of Nature and of Me.
It is an atrocity.
Don't do it.
And stop telling me to do it.
I am a fundamentalist, and I know that if the Almighty had meant for this monstrosity to exist, for the egg to intrude on the perfection of beef and cheese, (the bun is just a deliver system,) cows would lay eggs.
(And shut up about my use of mayonnaise, you hobgoblins of consistency.)