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Saturday, 25 October 2014

The Solution to Gradualism - The Sin Patch

Fr Hunwicke notes that the newly fashionable "gradualism" is only ever suggested for sins that the cardinal person doing the suggesting, when you get right down to it, doesn't really think is a sin.

You know, as in, yeah, it's a sin, but it's not a SIN-sin, (like Whoopi Goldberg classifies rapes when they are committed by film directors whom she admires.)

I think I see the way 'round this.

We need some kind of patch! or maybe gum!

Yeah, you've been sinning since you were thirteen, sneaking sins out of you aunt's purse, sinning behind the garage, hangin' out with other kids who sinned.

You've been a three sin a day guy for years now. Sins are getting expensive.
But you've tried quitting before, cold turkey, hypnotism, nothing's worked!

Well, instead of reaching for that sin, next time the craving hits you, reach for new Devilderm, just slap one on you arm and take the edge off. Have the satisfaction of being evil without committing the sin.
Or try new Sinitrol Gum! Control your cravings for sin, don't let them control you!
Sinitrol! When you just want to smudge up you soul a little.

I think the bishops of Germany could have a great new way to augment their Church Tax!

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