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Saturday 7 March 2015

Phrases That Make Me Retch

"Best practices."

Seriously, if it's not "mandatory", but you think it ought to be, say "suggested."

Or "recommended."

Does anyone ever use it for proven methods? The implication is that they are known to get the best results, but they usually turn out to be the trendy academic theory, or whatever they're teaching at State U's School of Education THIS year.
I never hear or read this in connection with something verifiable, say, methods of killing poisonous snakes. Or making a chord of three notes sound pleasant on the ear instead of making you want to smash a child's guitar.

It always seems to be used for things that are not only open to debate, but are being currently and hotly debated.

Maybe because I can see, in my mind's eye, the version of this I've had in my  life saying it.
Image result for Dana carvey Church Lady
No, I can't MAKE you do it this way, but these ARE "best practices."
I can hear her voice, I can hear her pursed lips and I can hear the air quotes.
Image result for albino pit of despair
No, I can't MAKE you do it this way, but these ARE "best practices."

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