Well, yes, at first it was pride, but that's over with now.
He is all too aware of the depths to which he condemned himself.
The sin on which his soul now feeds itself is envy.
He is envious of us who still have to opportunity not to disobey, to say, unlike him, serviam.
And he has hope - in this case not the Theological Virtue, but the burning desire for, and the knowledge that it is still possible, that we, like him, will choose wrong.
There are some people who think that the balm, the comfort needed to assuage the pain of their failures is, that's right - the failure of others. (Though they would not express it that way.)
Father Dwight Longenecker has a piece on an ex-priest who sketching the outlines for us of the schism he says is coming.
What mystifies me is why people like [him] remain in the Catholic Church at all. Other progressive Catholics have been much less hypocritical. Realizing that their views are contrary to Catholic teaching they have left to start their own churches.Does it really mystify you, Fr L?
His former vocation is the clue.
I'm afraid the poor guy's hanging around hoping to see that, if he couldn't stick it? well, at least a lot of other people couldn't either.
And I believe, I hope.... that his is a false hope.