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Monday, 20 October 2014

Bread into Stones, Stones into Bread?

 At first I thought somehow, the anti-fruitcake invective was staring early this year, but the conversation has naught to do with that much maligned holiday delicacy.
Note- this is a reference to Christians, but not Christmass. (And while we're at it, okay, yeah, there is a lot of bad fruitcake out there, and it can be rock-like, but good fruitcake, which the naysayers have never been fortunate enough to experience, is what the Seraphim dine on in heaven. and show forth their perfect goodness by sharing with the Thrones and the Cherubim instead of bogarting it.)

It seems to me that only the temptation to make bread out of stones was explicitly condemned by the Lord....

For we've read,
Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert, to be tempted by the devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterwards He was hungry. And the tempter coming said to Him: If Thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread. Who answered and said: It is written, Not in bread alone doth man live, but in every word that proceedeth from the mouth of God.

But never,
Then Melvin was led by the spirit to buy that cute 1/2 condo in West Hollywood. And when he had lived there forty days and forty nights, he wanted to check out the view and opened his blinds and caught sight of his neighbors Steve and Todd across the way who were surprisingly.... acrobatic in their nocturnal activities and kinda noisy and apparently always kept their blinds open. And the tempter coming said to Melvin: If thou  hast a problem with that, command that that stale asiago baguette be made stone, and pitch it through their window, that'll get their attention, but seriously, what were you expecting in this neighborhood?

Anyway, I don't take "bread into stones" as a meaningless catch-phrase as someone, can't recall who, sneered.

Stones are very useful indeed.

Can't build a house out of bread.
Throwing bread at the sandhill cranes will not drive them off your lawn, it will encourage them.
Bread is not useful as a weight in the bottom of garden pots.
And don't even get me started on how abysmally bread works in a French drain.

No, particularly as the paleo- diet is trending, and what with glutenaphobia, there are many people who will have more use for stones than for bread. 

Just sayin'

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