Universalis, your very own breviary in pixels...

Monday, 13 October 2014

"Purple Penguins"

I didn't give this much credence because the person who told me about it watches Fox, which I know has a tendency to get hold of the wrong end of the stick in regard to news of the culture wars, (not discriminating against Fox, other tv news channels do likewise in their bias toward the other direction.)

But came across it again, and so decided to check it out on Snopes, which I think has a pretty good track record. Someone feel free to tell me if that's wrong.
A Nebraska school district has instructed its teachers to stop referring to students by “gendered expressions” such as “boys and girls,” and use “gender inclusive” ones such as “purple penguins” instead. 
 “Don’t use phrases such as ‘boys and girls,’ ‘you guys,’ ‘ladies and gentlemen,’ and similarly gendered expressions to get kids’ attention,” instructs a training document given to middle-school teachers at the Lincoln Public Schools. 
 “Create classroom names and then ask all of the ‘purple penguins’ to meet on the rug,” it advises. The document also warns against asking students to “line up as boys or girls,” and suggests asking them to line up by whether they prefer “skateboards or bikes/milk or juice/dogs or cats/summer or winter/talking or listening.” “
Always ask yourself . . . ‘Will this configuration create a gendered space?’” 
(Gotta admit, I had no idea that spaces could be sexed  -- like toads?or at least gendered like French nouns.)
So, Snopes says some true, some false - but in their cited breakdown  of what is what, it seems, on the whole, true, and pretty dang ridiculous.
Okay, teachers weren't "ordered" not to use the terms "boys" or "girls" they were merely provided with materials as guidelines for educators to better understand gender identity issues and were not intended to impose rules mandating how those issues should be addressed.

Yeah, 'cause in elementary school especially, that's why you divide kids into boys and girls, just so that you can have two totally random lines.
It's not because they are, generally speaking, inherently different, it's all artificial constructs, (ask the mother of all boys, why don't you?)
So, every fifth grader who prefers juice, learn how to stand up at the urinals without making a mess, in that rest room, and you fifth graders who prefer milk, we have a little film for you to see, about how your bodies are changing.
* * * * *
In other news, a purple penguin engineer who worked for Twitter, after being charged with the rape and assault of the purple penguin's former spouse, to whom the purple penguin was married when the purple penguin presented as the sex of purple penguin that the purple penguin had the configuration of, that is, before deciding that the purple penguin wished to be addressed and treated as the other variety of purple penguin while still retaining the physical attributes of the first kind of purple penguin thus making it possible for the purple penguin to sexuall assault the purple penguin's ex-spouse in the way the purple penguin was accused of doing,was pled down, and escaped jail time.

Which kind of purple penguin would they ever have decided to incarcerate this purple penguin in the company of, one wonders.... whew, narrow escape from that conundrum, Civil Authorities!

Sadly, some lesbian purple penguins online take offense at this purple penguin's crimes being reported on as if they were the dastardly doings of a lesbian purple penguin because this purple penguin, though sometimes referring to the purplepenguin'sself as a lesbian  purple penguin, is in point of fact, a transgendered... transcolored?  purple penguin.

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